3 Short Bedtime Questions that Help Me Understand My Children

in ,

Every parenting book and magazine seems to point out the importance of having a bedtime routine to help children prepare to sleep, but my favorite part of our children's bedtime routine is the part that helps me understand who they are and what they value. You see, I ask the same three simple questions every night, but hearing their unique and changing answers has taught me quite a lot about their interests, perceptions, and personalities. It's also helped me understand some of the tough emotional situations that I couldn't untangle during the day. Here's what I ask (in French, but also included here in English):

Read More

Arriving in Paris (and What Not To Do on Arrival)

in , , , ,

 Bonjour les amis! We're in Paris! This is my first trip back to France in eight years, and It's great to be able to share this city with my husband and children. (He and I were last in France when I was two months pregnant with our first child.) I hope to write more frequently about our experiences here, so Intentional Mama will be more of a travel blog for a while, d'accord? Here's how we're adjusting, and what we've learned the hard way:

Read More

Visiting Iceland with Young Children: Tips & Activities

in , , ,

 

Halló from Iceland! We're in Reykjavic on a five-day stopover before we continue on to France. Did you know you can stopover in Iceland for free when flying Iceland Air to or from Europe? This is our first time doing so, and we've had an amazing experience. We exchanged homes with an Icelandic family through HomeExchange.com and staying in their home has been one of the best blessings of our stay. We've also had a chance to visit one of our former exchange students and her family, so we've truly had a great time! In case you get a chance to visit here or know someone who will, here are our tips for a great family vacation in Iceland:

Read More

On Returning to France: How "Paris to the Moon" Allays My Fears

in , , ,

In preparation for our trip to France (we leave next week!), I’ve been re-reading Paris to the Moon, Adam Gopnik’s essays on five years of living in France with his wife and young son. It’s a perfect read now, because in the weeks before I leave for France I always develop a small undercurrent of fear—fear that perhaps France won’t be the same.

Read More

Why I Try to Avoid Spanking

in

As parents, we either respect or reject the way we were raised. My parents were fairly authoritarian and followed the advice of Dr. Dobson, whose book The Strong Willed Child was a bestseller in the '80s. They believed in the adage "spare the rod and spoil the child;" and in our household, the rod was a wooden spoon or a yardstick. But we three daughters rarely needed such correction. When we were disciplined in this way, my parents always prefaced it with an explanation of what we did wrong and a reminder that they loved us.

As an adult now, however, I can't recall more than one or two reasons why I was spanked. Instead, what I remember is the boiling anger and resentment it stirred up in me. I certainly don't recall deciding to change my behavior as a result, only trying to avoid getting caught. Psychology backs this up, showing that punishment motivates a child to avoid future punishment but it does not effectively change behavior by itself.

Read More

Resting Easy about Babies and Sleep

in , ,

A few months before my first child was born, I thought two nurses had given me the ticket to a good nights' sleep after baby's arrival. I'd read their book (complete with a DVD demonstrating how to swaddle); it advocated letting your baby cry for two nights so that he or she would learn to sleep through the night by the third night. This technique--commonly known as cry it out or CIO--seemed to me a bit harsh but necessary, like vaccines, so I considered it good advice.

Then I became a parent.

Read More

Infant Pottying: Why It's A Sweet Way to Parent (and Have Fewer Diapers to Change)

in ,

A few weeks ago I shared some forgotten truths about newborns and I mentioned that newborns can use the potty. Western cultures like ours are largely ignorant about this, but in this Information Age, such knowledge is spreading again. If you aren't familiar with Infant Pottying, Elimination Communication (E.C.), or Natural Infant Hygiene, I'm glad to share what I've learned as we've raised our babies this way. It takes an open mind to read this without skepticism, but you can do it!

Read More

3 Forgotten Truths About Newborns

in ,

Our family is ten days into this parenting journey with our third child, so I thought I'd share three truths about newborns that I am being reminded of this week. I didn't know these truths when I started my parenting journey, and our modern society has mostly forgotten them:

Read More